Enemies.

I thought i'd write a little something about enemeis, I know it isn't the brightest of posts but it's just the mood i'm in right now, I am still really annoyed about some people in my life i'll do this without names as if they ever read this they will know exactly who they are,

You know you get that feeling when you see someone you really dislike and you just grip your teeth with absolute digust,anger thats how i feel when i see these people, Alot of them who were probably a big part of my life before,

The first person i'm going to write about is a old friend, he was always a bit of a broken character, buti never expected him to turn out who he is today,Infact yes i did he was a complete wreck of a alcoholic and noone was good enough for him, No matter how much you tried to help him, he pushed everything you done back in your face because he was so angry at himself, at how he turned out, and if i were like him i would be too, he'll never change,I one read something he wrote about me and he said how he hopes i choke on my tounge and die,He is sick in the head!

The next person is also a close friend, Was, Nothing was good enough for him ever, he was manipulative and if things didn't go his way he'd ruin it for everyone else, he have such a patronising attitude towards everything and he intimidated almost everyone he got involved with, he made myself and alot of people feel so small, I will never forgive him for it, He never made me weak like he wanted he made me stronger, thank you!!

The next person is someone i've known all of my life, Me and her use to be basically joint at the hip, and i trusted her and she was everything to me i would never let her down and i would do everything i could for her. She came into my family and she grew up with us and my family treated her like she was part of it, As we have grown up we have went our seperate ways and i hate who she has become she has become the worst out of everyone i know i have never in all my life met a more fake, mnipulative, selfish, arrogant girl in my life, I hope she becomes a really sad lonely girl in the end, I believe she is probably very empty inside and she needs kicks so she goes out of her way to hurt other people she has lied to me and she has lied to her friends her family and probably to herself an uncountable amount of times, she has recently done things that have hurt alot of people and im really sick of her, she disgusts me in so many levels, I will never trust you again.


The next person was another friend, I hate who he has become, End off!

This is just a few paragraphs on my enemies i'm sure everyone has there own set of enemies and there own views on them, He's just a few people i needed to get off my chest, I needed to write this because it's being played over in my head and maybe they will read this one day and realise who they really are to other people, People who once reall cared about them.



I hope anyone who reads this can relate to it, Thanks for reading!
StaceyCarrie!

The weekend

So Saturday was valentines day but Iain was working so i decided to go out with Ilona in Brechin which was a really good saved me sitting in on valentines on my own, which would have sucked lots. So we got some bud and got ready at hers, we went down to Hudsons first which was dead quiet so we went to stables which was also busy we stayed there a while drinking lots, anyway we decided to walk back up to Hudsons and we saw Steven, An old friend of mine which i am still pretty crushed about losing anyway he gave me the biggest dirty look ever but i decided to ignore it as nothing was going to ruin my valentines, Biz my friend phoned me a few times saying he'd be out soon with Megan another one of my "close friends" basically I get on really well with Biz ,end of!so we went back to hudsons and it was packed, there wasa dj there "dj ak" he was so sweet and i got talking to him, as you do i find it easier to talk to boys he soon became my dancing partner, shows how drunk i was, i never dance haha. Caz and Joe were there i dragged them up dancing to. Then Pugs came and we danced to grease it was so halarious!!!he really lightened up my night =D!

anyway later Megan came so i went over and gave her a hug and she basically pushed me away and i was like "okay, Hi wheres Biz" and she was like "why?" and i was confused at that point anyway she hasked to talk to me and can you believe she accused me of trying to get with Biz i was gobsmacked actually how someone who was ment to be a close friend could accuse me of that, I have a boyfriend for god sake! she really showed how childish she was that night!!

anyway it was a really good night we went back to lonas and she had a drunk strop but ugh who cares.

Sunday Iain picked me up and we went for a valentines meal in Montrose it was so lovely!!:)

we got home and Steven was on my msn so i said why was i still on and he said he had deleted me and not blocked me, then i said why didnt you block and delete me we had a little bit of a conversation and basically he said he lost all respect for me cause the way ive acted, he doesnt understand that all it was, was i actually cared about what he had, he really is a selfish arrogant prick but yet id do anything for him to care again he was a really close friend to me and its like ive lost everything in one, everytime i go out i get shit off his girlfriends friends and its so tiring, im so dissapointed in Steven as we fought so much for this friendship and clearly i thought i ment alot more to him! but i obviously didnt, im also annoyed atmyself for trusting him..

14/02/09

I am so angry, Today i tried to be a friend to someone who once really broke my heart!
I gave him advice and i tried to support him but of course hes just the same arrogant, selfish little by he's always been, Despite everything we went through i decided to really try and help him and he threw it back in my face, He forgets that i was once in his situation!!!!!!

How can one person be so selfish!

Friends

letting me down again.
Kyle..... who i thot was my friend,
But..again he let me down made plans and didnt proceed

11/2/09

Wednesday, i was up at like 6:45am, for work i am so shattered!
Work wasnt to bad tho actually appart from being shattered basically,
Im home now tho thank god another 12 hour shift tomorrow tho,

Waterloo roads on, Laterz

10/2/09

Today Tuesday, has been the laziest,boring day ever. Got up at about 11, watched this film with my mum, About this guy who pretended to be deaf then spoke at the end to save someone or something it was quite intresting actually.

I have work tomorrow i can't be bothered 3 days 12hour shifts! But i'm off Saturday and Sunday so thats okay :)

Got valentines day off but my boyfriend is working :( but were going out Sunday instead!

Think im going out Saturday still tho and i might see him at like 12am... for like a hour.
I bought him the whole series of scrubs,which i hate, so i wont be watching it with him =D! Although i make him watch my annoying programmes.

Actually shameless tonight thats about as entertaining as it gets,
Waterloo road tomorrow which i love
and skins thursday, SORTED!

Me

I'm Stacey,


Stacey Jacqueline Carrie,


I think it takes alot to really know yourself,and I'm not even sure i really know who i am,I'd like to think i was, Funny,honest,loving, I can be selfish yet apreciative.


but is that how other people see me?








My mum said:


"in 4, pain in the arse"haha.


"bubbly, full of life, happy!"

My 6 year old sister, Cortney Elizabeth said:

"funny,beautiful,cheeky."

Gary,a close friend said:

"honest, caring, beautiful"

Kyle walker said:

"Caring, Loyal,trustworthy"

When other people tell me what they really think of me in a limited number of 3 words it really helps me reflect on who i am,

Okay I've never been happy with the way i am, The way i look, I'm on a constant diet that never lasts, I think i'll always have fat bits where i don't want to, people say i must see something different in the mirror but if i don't like what i see in the mirror how will i ever be happy?

I really need to learn to love myself, Okay a meal the size of my fist will never full me up and i ocassionally have lazy days and i don't do much exercise but thats part of who i am, I just think, I do plenty of exercise at work :)

I find it really hard to trust people, i guess it's because of the way i've been treated in the past by people and the way i've seen people be treated. I get on better with guys i think girls are really bitchy towards eachother and of course everyone is a little bitchy at times i'm no saint but girls take it to far sometimes and really get eachother in a lot of trouble, I'd much rather have a relaxed friendship where things weren't so dramatic all the time.

I've only ever had one sucessful relationship and thats the one i'm in now and so far it's lasted 4 months, and i hope it lasts a really long time cause he is so special. I think before him,i was only ever in love once or what i believe love was, with a boy called Tom... No last names,I spent about 2 years dwelling over me and Tom's relationship i just wanted it all back and i fought and fought for it for 2 years because i believed he was actually the one,I couldn't be more wrong!The more he treated me bad the more i wanted him, It was a 300 mile relationship but to me he was the most gorgeous,loving person in the world i was so devoted to him it was unreal but he broke my heart,But because of other people the distance and what we went through it wasn't very sucessful.

One person who helped me through it all tho is Kyle Walker, One person i trust with my life,he's stood by me and i believe he will till the end,he is the most special,loving,honest person i've ever met we have been through so much together and i think thats what keeps us strong!
We have so many memories together it's unreal sometimes when we see eachother we just giggle for hours and we have the weirdest humour together we are solid, I hope were friends forever!!

Without the ups and downs in my life, i don't think id be who i am now, and with my past my future will be better because i know what to expect in people, myself. I just need to learn to become that little bit more confident.